John Lancaster

University Professor with dyslexia shares his story

This story was sent in by John Lancaster, a Professor of Psychology at the University of Tennessee Southern.

My name is John Lancaster. I realized that there was something different about me when both my younger and older brothers could read better than me. I was also embarrassed repeatedly in the 2nd grade when placed in the yellow bird group, the group for slower readers. The red birds, the best readers, would snicker when we would have difficulty pronouncing words. This continued throughout elementary school. I had problems with words that I was not aware of, mispronouncing words, poor reading, and reading out loud issues. I hated reading. I would not read unless made to. I refused to read out loud because it was so embarrassing. I did well in elementary school despite my issues.

In high school, the same issues continued. I could just hide it better until I would run into an English class where we had to read poems out loud and recite them, which was exhausting. I used sports to help cope with my high level of anxiety and frustration. Several English teachers told me I should not go to college. My mother would tell me to look words up in the dictionary, but I could not spell the word well enough to do so. Others would tell me I was not trying hard enough even though I was, it just wasn’t working.

I went to college after graduation, another nightmare. I struggled but was determined to get through. In my junior and senior years, things improved when I was taking major classes only. I went on to graduate school and became a mostly A student. Even though I continued to say I was dumb, I made good grades. This felt good. My spelling was poor, and this showed up on the exams. My major instructor told me I passed but was not trying hard enough, a saying I had heard before.

I wanted to get a PhD. So, I started working on learning new words and analogies. During this time, I was working as a mental health counselor, teaching in a junior college, and speaking at churches. As a counselor, no one would have to see my poor handwriting. In church, I had to read out loud and would skip over words I was not aware of, replace words, and avoid reading if I did not need to. College teaching was the same. I worked very hard on a second Master's in psychology and was later admitted to a Ph.D. program in psychology. Many of the psychologists would ask after reading my writing if I had a learning disability. I would say that I was not sure. I thought it was dyslexia, but I could not give it a name.

While working full-time, I continued to work as a college teacher, do seminars, and work in churches. While at the mental health center, I was visited by college officials who asked if I wanted to teach full-time. I agreed. Teaching college was great, but I could not pronounce many of my students’ names. If reading out loud, I would skip words I was not aware of and replace words. I went on to complete another master's, MAR, MSSW, and EdS, and a DMin from Andover Newton, which is now at Yale. I continued to tell myself I was dumb until I took an online class taught by Dr. Shaywitz from Yale called Overcoming Dyslexia. It hit me in the face like a brick. I am not dumb, I am dyslexic. I have eight degrees and have worked in the school system as a school psychologist who evaluated people for disabilities but could not see that I had dyslexia myself.

In the last three degrees, MSSW, EdS, and DMin, I would walk while I would dictate. Walking would calm my anxiety and help me focus. I collected the material and took one page at a time. I would then have a typist transcribe the material. She was very organized and helped me keep the APA style. I would then walk while making corrections. I was working on three of these degrees simultaneously, which is remarkable for someone with dyslexia. Education, although a struggle, helps me to feel smarter. I stopped calling myself dumb, which was an important coping strategy. I say to myself I am not dumb but dyslexic. I am creative, bright, and think out of the box. Telling myself these things helps me overcome the struggles that come with having dyslexia.

Thanks for letting me share my story.